Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Best writing

We bumped along the surface of the sea in my uncle's fishing boat. We were going to Shoe Island. We were going spear fishing. We put our gear on; wetsuits, weight belts, snorkels, masks, flippers, and spear guns. I jumped into the deep blue sea. I made a big SPLASH.

It was like another world under the water. I could see hundreds of sky-blue fish swimming around my spear. Their scales shone in the sunlight. Jellyfish with teeny yellow spots hovered around me. I couldn't see the bottom because it was so deep, but I could see thick brown slimey seaweed drifting with the current.

I was looking around when I saw a big round shape moving very slowly around the seaweed. At first I thought it was a rock, but when it moved I recognised it as a "Maori Chief". Unlike my cousin Matthew, who was so terrified when he saw one that he swam all the way back to shore, I dived down to see if I could get a shot. I pulled back the elastic and aimed. My heart is pumping and I'm hoping that I will hit it. The spear was aiming for the bullseye, but it just didn't get there. I was ready to take another shot at it but just then I saw the biggest eel in my life. I was so freaked out that I swam back to the boat hoping that the eel didn't see me. I put my head back under and there in front of me was the big black brutally dangerous eel. It was looking straight at me. Just then I remembered that I had my spear. I aimed at it and I speared it in the eye. I climbed back into the boat and heaved it in with me. I looked at it for a bit. It had big blue eyes that stared at me. Its teeth were as sharp as needles. Its skin was really slippery.

We took back to the house and ate it.

The End

what did I do well? I had vous
what did I learn? that I can writ a good storey
what will I do better next time? make it smailer

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